I know I made this as such a strange choice, but hear me out. Some people manage both of these very well and tbh all the power to you. It is really necessary to find the right group of friends and then you can have both, but truly, most of the time it isn’t the case.
An example of what I am on about. Last year, I meal prepped healthy shit every single Monday, the identical healthy lunch. I went for a weekly shop, every Sunday, went gym on specifically chosen days, wore a skirt only when I didn’t go to the gym etc. My life was so lined, I ate, showered, cleaned and almost even pissed at the same time every single day. My laundry was done, my room was clean and I was keeping myself in this bubble that I created to stay sane. I went out probably twice? Hardly drank alcohol, didn’t do any crazy stupid stuff. But that’s it. I know that sounds like a normal 9 to 5 person’s life but come on, almost zero social contact makes you go crazy.
Now I live with 8 other people, do my laundry when I have no clean clothes, wake up early but chill in bed. Go to bed real late, go drinking with my friends, sometimes I am just reckless, screaming and singing on top of my lungs. And guess what? I sometimes miss how organised I was. That I can do both? Well it gets slightly difficult to wake up full on sunshine when you drank loads of wine the night before and went to bed so late you don’t even remember. Be productive, be alert, absolutely impossible to do. At least for me.
The only middle ground is to find friends who share your interests and if thats the case for you, it must be amazing. My friends share my interests, but I never met someone who would be just like me. Hardworking but reckless, clean and shooting for the stars but can also down a beer if someone bets me. Wakes up early but goes to bed late. People are either one or the other, we are hardly a thing.
I always knew that I had to choose. A cool life or a successful life. It’s like choosing who you are going to be for the rest of your life. Some days it is so easy, other days it is the worst thing to think about. Half of me wants to be reckless, drink till the morning, dance and not giving a single fuck. Other half just wants to eat veggies and be a decent wife making cookies. You always have to choose the one you think will benefit you the most, which for me is the clean and healthy girl. But I am afraid that I might miss this recklessness, this part of me that had fun and people told stories about her. What if I never get to be her again, just for a moment?
Be alert, be fun, be focused, be determined, be social, be full of life, be happy, be excited. How can I be all these things at the same time? How can I be fun when I have to be focused? How can I be happy if I have to be alert? Life is a constant sacrifice but it is needed to know why you performing this sacrifice.